By Jessie Clark
Her name was Mrs. Carlson. She was my 3rd grade teacher. To most students, she was the strict teacher for 3rd grade. Students, including me, dreaded being chosen for her class. In the spring of my 2 nd grade year, my parents found out that my mom was pregnant. It would be my first sibling. But I was terrified. I do not remember why I even knew of this possibility, but I had become very fearful that my mom was going to miscarry. That fear had invaded my dreams, many of my thoughts during the day, and eventually my schoolwork, as I began third grade. After about 3 weeks of school, my acting up got to the point that Mrs. Carlson had to do something. She didn’t send me to the principal for discipline. She didn’t punish me in class. She pulled me to the back of the room, sat opposite me, and gently holding both my cheeks in her hands, asked me what was wrong. “I know you,” she said. “I talked to your teachers from last year, and you are a good boy. Something is wrong. What is it?” My cheeks were hot from embarrassment at first (no one likes to be called out by the teacher), but now they were hot from a feeling of vulnerability. This woman had seen through my mask of being the clown, and had seen into my heart. Without thinking, I told her my fear about my mom’s pregnancy. After I was finished, she refrained from saying that there was nothing to worry about. Nor did she try in any way to minimize what I was feeling. Instead, she just moved her hands to hold mine, and held my gaze, and told me that she was sorry I was scared; that we were going to get through it together. She made me promise to tell her privately when I was feeling particularly scared. I did, and I got much better in school. I only had to tell her a couple of times that I was scared. We made it through, and over Christmas break that year, my healthy baby brother was born. I am still grateful for Mrs. Carlson, and for every teacher who knows that their job is more than teaching knowledge. It is also holding their students in love, showing compassion, seeing them with eyes that look to the heart.
JESSIE CLARK is retired from Volusia County Schools as Assistant Director of Stu-dent Transport Services. He is married with four beautiful children.. His book can be purchased at Amazon.